


Infuriatingly Perfect

by McKat



Category: Battle Creek (TV)
Genre: Episode Related, First Kiss, Getting Together, M/M, Russ is bad at words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-07-23 13:01:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20008714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/McKat/pseuds/McKat
Summary: Milt is perfect. It gets on Russ’ nerves. But maybe Milt cares for Russ more than either expect.





	Infuriatingly Perfect

“Russ, are you ok?” Milt sounded really concerned. 

Russ sat up, checking himself for injuries, and looked for the shooter. “Yeah, yeah, I’m ok. He didn’t hit me.”

Milt was on his knees beside where Russ was sitting on the ground, and before Russ realized what was happening the Agent’s hands were on his shoulders, keeping him sitting down. “Let me make sure you’re ok.”

Russ was really close to arguing (like always), but something about the sincerity in Milt’s voice made him shut his mouth. 

Milt’s hair looked different when it wasn’t slicked back. Russ wasn’t sure why this was on his mind as Milt checked for injuries. But it was. Milt was always perfectly put together, but his hair being not, well, perfect, made him even more attractive. 

_ Dang it man, _ Russ thought,  _ where is this coming from? _

Didn’t matter because Milt seemed to be content that Russ was uninjured. But he kept kneeling beside him, his face far too close. 

“Milt, I’m ok.” The detective even placed a reassuring hand on Milt’s arm. “I’m fine.”

Chamberlain nodded. “Yeah. Yeah. You’re ok.” It sounded as though he was trying to convince himself. Russ stood and took Milt’s hands to help him to his feet as well. But when they were standing Milt didn’t let go of his hands. Neither did Russ. They just stood there like idiots holding hands. 

“Russ, I… I should have been out here.”

“Dude, it’s fine. Just got shot at, not like it’s a rare occurrence. You should know that by now.”

Milt nodded. “Yeah. Being shot at seems to be something you excel at.”

“Hey, everyone is good at something,” Russ said with a small smile. He stayed looking at Milt for a minute before clearing his throat. “Should… I don’t know... we should go…” he dropped Milt’s hands and stepped back. 

Milt nodded and cleared his throat. “Yeah. We should…” He ran his fingers through his hair, messing it up some more. 

Russ watched him do it before shaking his head to clear it. “Come on.”

————- 

Russ sat on the edge of the counter, watching Milt’s legs where they were sticking out from under the sink. It was honestly unfair how much taller the FBI agent was. Just some other perfect part of him. 

It was while Russ was in his own head that Milt stood and was starting to close the distance between them. “You don’t let anyone close,” the Agent was saying. It seemed like he was trying to prove his point by moving into Russ’s space. 

Russ looked Milt over, trying to avoid his eyes. “Are you talking literal or metaphorical? Because right now I’m kinda getting confused.”

Milt raised an eyebrow and stepped closer. 

Dang it, Russ thought. He couldn’t move away. Then Milt would win.  _ Win what? _ That didn’t matter. Not with Milt standing between Russ’s legs. Then Milt had a hand on Russ’s knee. 

Russ didn’t move. Whether it was because of stubbornness or inability to summon enough brainpower to move, he wasn’t entirely sure. But he stayed perfectly still and finally looked up into Milt’s eyes. 

From Russ’s perch they were closer to the same height, giving Russ a closer view of Agent Ken Doll’s face than he was usually accustomed to. He was really good looking. Russ had informed him of this a time or two. But it was true. 

Finally Russ’s throat started to work again. “What… what’re you doin’?” Well, his voice worked. Sentence forming? Still out of order, please try again later. 

Milt shook his head almost imperceptibly. “Not sure. Acting on my gut.”

Russ scoffed quietly. “Your gut? No analysis?”

Milt smiled. “I know you’ve already analyzed this enough for the both of us.”

Slowly Russ nodded. Milt knew him better than he gave the Agent credit for. “You think I can’t let anyone close. So you’re testing your little theory, right? Well let me tell you something, you can move as close as you want, physically or metaphorically and I-“ Russ wasn’t entirely sure how that sentence was going to end. He didn’t need to know. 

Milt’s hand was on the back of Russ’s neck, and he brought his lips down to meet the Detective’s. It was soft but firm and Russ felt his head spinning. After what seemed like an eternity that wasn’t long enough (and was in reality just a couple of seconds) Milt moved back slowly, eyes still closed. He opened them slowly, as though afraid of seeing Russ’s face. 

Russ gulped. “See? I let people close,” he said hoarsely. 

Milt nodded. “I’m- I’m sorry Russ I definitely should not have-“ 

“It’s ok.” Russ placed his hand on Milt’s waist, keeping him from moving away. “I know you were acting on your gut.”

“Well I know you’ve already put a lot of thought into that.” He sounded out of breath. “What have you come up with?”

Russ smirked. “I think that you get on me for not letting people close, but you’re pretty awful at it yourself. So when it comes to relationships beyond strict professionalism… you have no idea how to handle them. So if you aren’t sure how you feel about a coworker that you don’t know outside of work…”

“I become likely to kiss them while out collecting evidence?”

“Bingo.” He pulled Milt closer. “I mean I don’t blame you. I’m irresistible,” he added with a wink. 

Milt laughed at that, the most honest laugh Russ had ever heard from the man. And he’d have been offended if he weren’t grinning so wide. 

“What can I say? I’m a stud.” 

Milt stopped laughing and stepped closer to Russ. “Absolutely.” He kissed the detective again. This time with more heat behind it. 

Of course Milt was an amazing kisser. This didn’t surprise Russ in the least. Russ’s hands were still on Milt’s waist and he moved them up to the agent’s hair, tugging on it. If his hair came out of where Milt had it perfectly slicked back then so be it. 

Milt in return had a hand on the back of Russ’s head and another on Russ’s hip. 

Russ felt his brain come to a grinding halt as Milt parted his lips slightly. He pulled back, breathing heavily, and looked into Milt’s eyes. “What…?” 

Milt shrugged a shoulder. “No idea. Just felt right.”

The detective had to admit, Chamberlain had a point. Something about it did feel right. But they were on the job and two people were dead. They could try to figure out what on earth just happened later. 

Maybe Russ’s brain would remember how to work by then. 

———-

“Oh, Russ, hey, I wasn’t expecting you.” 

“Well. I wasn’t really planning on stopping by.”

Milt nodded, seeming to understand. “Come in.”

Russ nodded and stepped inside the… he didn’t really know what to call it. Bunker? Apartment? Whatever. The place Milt was staying. He noticed Milt wasn’t wearing a suit, instead he had on sweatpants and a too-large t shirt. His hair wasn’t slicked back either, and he was wearing glasses. 

“Kinda strange, y’know,” Russ commented, “seeing you without a suit. Or all the gel in your hair.”

Milt smiled. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“Yeah. Sorry. Yeah. That’s what I meant it…” Russ sighed and sat on the couch. He was usually more articulate, honest. 

Milt sat next to him, closer than strictly professional but far enough to stay out of Russ’s space. “So I guess I know why you’re here.”

Russ stayed quiet, looking at his shoes.

“If you want me to begin requesting other partners I entirely understand. I never meant to make you uncomfortable-“

“Yeah you did.”

“I- sorry?” Milt looked genuinely confused. 

“You were telling me I don’t let people close. You were trying to prove your point. You entirely meant for me to be uncomfortable. But it’s fine. Really. I… I didn’t mind it, Milt.” Russ rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t know if you know or not but I’m not entirely… y’know… straight. And something tells me you aren’t either?” He didn’t mean that to come out as a question, but it did, despite his efforts. 

Milt nodded slowly. “You don’t let people close. Figuratively at least. But you just did. And I appreciate that.” 

Russ nodded for a second before shaking his head. “Come on man.”

“What do you-“

“I came over to figure out why on earth you would ever want to kiss me and you just offer ‘I appreciate that’?”

Milt sighed softly. “Russ I… I kissed you because I wanted to. Because I like you.”

Russ stayed quiet for a second before barking a short laugh. “You ‘like’ me? Dude you sound like a fifth grader.”

Milt gave a half smile and put a hand on Russ’s knee. “Well it’s true.” 

Russ shook his head. “You’re infuriating, you know that?”

“So I’ve been told. By you. Mostly you. Really, only you.” 

Before Russ really knew what was happening, Milt’s lips were on his. It lasted only a second, but still knocked the wind out of him. “You know… I think I could get used to that.”

Milt smiled and kissed him again, moving to straddle Russ’s legs. 

Milt was infuriating, dang it. But he was also really good looking and a  _ really  _ good kisser. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! If you’d like to leave kudos/comments it would make this author super happy, just so ya know :D


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